Australian Hip Hop Alcoholic Drinks
Australian hip hop has come a long way in the last few years, but in our esteemed opinion it still has a while to go if it wants to catch up with hip hop from the States. Sure we have some successful rappers nowadays, but rappers in the States don’t even rhyme anymore! Sure they may put out an album or a mixtape every now and again, but it is all about producing your own line of beverages these days.
Whether it is Diddy and Ciroc Vodka, 50 Cent and his Street King Energy Shots or Ludacris’ Conjure Cognac - spittin lyrics just gets in the way of poppin bottles and making paper.
Therefore here are a handful of drinks from Aussie rappers which we would like to see on sale at the bottle-o, or perhaps over the counter at Obese, sometime soon.
Kerser wouldn’t be the relentless lyrical beast he is without the Western Suburbs and beer, so his beverage should pay homage to both. Nothing like crackin open a longie of Eshays Lager while hanging with the lads at the park in Punchie, yelling at sluts, rollin cunts with boxcutters with your collar on ya Nautica polo up around your ears.
Some rappers are just far more educated, emotionally mature and sophisticated than others. Illy is a case in point. He has a law degree, raps about feelings with heartfelt, grown up singers and had a brand of coffee named in his honour. He is truly a man of the world, deserving of a beverage as classy as himself. Illy Livered Ale is that beverage. Imbibe!
Those among us hip hop aficionados who wish to enjoy an alcoholic beverage without feeling guilty about exploiting impoverished, third world farmers are now catered for with The Tongue’s fantastic new drink Xannon’s Green Pilsner. Unfortunately the socially conscious brewing process means that it is a slow and time consuming to produce, the alcoholic content of the beer is negligible and it costs $27 a bottle.
When you need to stalk the streets at night and think murderous thoughts, Tornts’ new brand of Swillin Piss Draught is right up your horrific, gut-rot, rubbish strewn, rat-infested, Hades-like darkened alley. Tastes much like Carlton Draught, though made with more spewing human hatred and ice cold stares.
Sometimes you just want to get so fucking muntered that you jump online and reveal the Illuminati conspiracy about influenza being developed in a CIA laboratory by defecting Ukranian scientists in order to impose government mind control over the population to force them to purchase Nickelback CD’s, thus continuing the demise of civil society as we know it which will lead to the New World Order taking command of the institutions of government. Balboa’s very own Shards & Cola will get you there.
TweetSource: peakstreet.com
