Just remember all caps when you spell the mans name…
MF DOOM. Love or hate the big fella, you can’t deny the man’s hip hop credentials. Ditch that mask (which all the hipster douchebag bibles drool over) and you’re still left with an MC that first got his feet wet as part of the amazingly creative early 90’s group KMD and since then has forged a rhyme style full of wordplay and cryptic metaphors that leave most rappers heads spinning. And let’s not forget his ‘eating-a-bowl-of-Captain-Crunch-cereal-watching-The-Smurfs-at-3am-after-smoking-a-bowl’ work behind the boards either.
However since he started really putting away the cheeseburgers, Mr Dumille has become increasingly more and more trapped inside his over-sized cartoon alter-ego.
Not only has this resulted in him pulling a Milli-Vanilli by lending his mask to some nobody half his size to perform his live shows (just so that he can stay at the crib and eat jars of mayonaise), but his music has been sitting on the couch watching shitty daytime television too.
Some of the chunky one’s best work has happened when he is bouncing ideas off others. Madvillain, Danger Doom, MF Grimm. So in order to get him back to his A-game, we at Peak Street Magazine wish to propose the following collaborative projects to Mr Doom for his next album.
DOOM & El-P - “Bladerunner”
Tell me this combination doesn’t have you kicking a dog over in excitement already. A little cute one with a bow in it’s hair at that. Imagine El-Producto’s post-apocalyptic boom bap underscoring Doom throwing verbals from the Year 2068 as they both channel the spirit of the cinematic classic ‘Bladerunner’. Even though he more closely resembles the frontside of a bulldozer than a young Harrison Ford, DOOM would still be fantastic as the brooding bounty hunter and El-P would absolutely go off the deep end spitting from the perspective of an unhinged murderous android. These two going at each others necks on some sci-fi concept album aint a long shot either. I mean DOOM’s Monster Island Tsars was already on some Godzilla type shit. Then you have El-P who is all up on Phillip K’s Dick and who penned a messed up tale of unrequited love on his last album that was set on a prison spaceship sometime in the next millenia. Somebody lock these two in a studio, start feeding them soylent green and we’ll have a certified classic in no time.
DOOM & The RZA - “The Graverobberz”
DOOM’s Wu-Tang connects are already strong. The Chef digs his beats and we’re all still waiting on this Ghostface collabo LP after putting up with some sub-par offerings from the duo. But forget Tony Starks for a minute. If there is one member of the clan who loves his masks and alias’ as much as DOOM you don’t have to look much further than it’s Godfather - The RZA. Now the obvious choice for a collabo project would see him rehashing his Bobby Digital character - but fuck that!! I’d rather rape my eardrums with the sharp corners of the latest Black Eyed Peas album then subjet myself to RZA’s musical equivalent of smoking Ajax. Nah, Mr Steels needs to get 6 Feet Deep again and bring some of that Gravediggaz horrorcore rawness. If he dusts off that ASR-10, brings out some sinister strings and piano melodies and forces DOOM to go on his all-vegetarian, organic diet of lentils and legumes than we’re bound to hear him getting dark, twisted and ready to eat your brains.
DOOM & Jake One - “Rap Royal Rumble”
Ladies and gentlemen. Introducing tonights main event. In the red corner weighing in at a fuckload of pounds, wearing XXXXL trunks and a gimmicky mask - Ultimate DOOM Warrior. And in the blue corner weighing in at a a lil something something, wearing a promo Stone Throw t-shirt - Jake One the Snake. C’mon how good would it be?! The collabos these two have already rocked on DOOM’s last opus “Born Like This” were legit. Shit would be dope as fuck man. Well as long as Doom didn’t wear a leotard for the promo shoots. That shit would be scary as a motherfucker!
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