Peak Street Magazine

'I Got 5 On It' with Purpose

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 10:01:05 +1100

Pagen Elypsis MC and young go-getter Purpose has got bars to spare. Plenty of them. Like more than Pentridge and Barwon combined. But does he have answers? We decided to throw him our patented ‘I Got 5 On It’ quiz and see what happened.

Frank Ocean or The Weeknd?

Tough one, I’m a Frank fan but I’d have to say The Weeknd. Put a lot of quality music out last year, enjoyed all of it. Dude can sing his ass off.

“Dead Presidents I” or “Dead Presidents II”?

“Dead Presidents II’. Original is good but Pt 2 is just classic. Reasonable Doubt is one of my all time favorite albums and that song is a big part of the reason why.

360 or Kerser?

In the battle? 60. It was a good battle, but 60’s experience just rapping/clarity won it for me.

Deafness or Blindness?

Woooooow another tough one. Damn. Uh…. I think I’d go with Blindness. There’s so much in the world to see, but music can paint a clear picture in the minds eye. Plus then when I bump into people they’ll just feel bad instead of us fighting to the death.

Big L or Big Pun?

Big L. Both were amazing writers but me and my boys probably know all the words to every Big L song.

Purps just dropped the third installment in his If The City Had A Voice mixtape series which you can grab HERE. Be on the look out for his debut LP this year too.

FBI file of Ol Dirty Bastard makes Wu-Tang look more gully.

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 09:46:00 +1100

So some awesome motherfucking kids over at gun.io have just nabbed Ol Dirty Bastard’s FBI File thanks to the Freedom of Information Act that allows for the release of FBI files if that dude is deceased. And since ODB is as dead as Common’s diss game, they dropped the files.

Skimming through the info, it seems that the Wu-Tang Clan were clearly nothing to fuck with. Hell just check page 5, and I quote;

“The WTC (Wu-Tang Clan) is heavily involved in the sale of drugs, illegal guns, weapons possession, murder, carjacking and other types of violent crime.”

Protect your neck kid!

The document connects the Clan to a couple of murders, a shoot out with the New York Police Department and the Bloods Gang. It also outlines Ol Dirty’s being robbed and shot.

Tell us if you find anything else interesting rap nerds.

Hmmmm… I wonder if I can get criminal histories of Aussie rappers. Any ideas of which local heads would have the best rap sheet?

'I Got 5 On It' with Dialectrix

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:19:05 +1100

If I could steal anyone’s flows and cadences in the game, it would most probably be from Dialectrix. Unfortunately I would waste all that amazing talent spittin about Burger Rings, Macgyver re-runs and longnecks. We decided to throw some questions with out ‘I Got 5 On It’ quiz.

Chester P or Jehst?

Damn! Thats hard right off the bat! This to me all comes down to timing. Had I been asked this 3-4 years ago it probably would have been Jehst. Like many younger MC’s in this country High Plains Drifter was one of those seminal records that all those young ‘lyrical rapity rappers’ liked and I was definitely one of those dudes, yet I hated a lot of the dudes who overrated Jehst as they were usually pretentious hippy wankers for some reason.

All that aside I’ve always respected Jehst as a wordsmith. He’s got the ability to make me focus on his imagery rather then get lost in his word flow which is a rare and talented gift I reckon and his influence on Australian rappers is huge. Having said that Chester takes this in my books. He can be equally as convoluted and as esoteric as Jehst yet Chester has been more prolific and is far better at hitting home with conscious subject matter and has more of a sting to his bars when he’s passionate about what he’s talking about. To me Chester P is a mans rapper Jehst is more of a boys rapper and unfortunately I’m turning into an old man.

Streetfighter of Tekken?

KILLER INSTINCT!! CO-CO-CO-COMBO BREAKER!!!!!!!!! Um….. yeah…. Streetfighter hands down. My big bro is a die hard Tekken head and he’s swayed me over the years but Streetfighters unfuckwitable (unless Killer Instinct is involved!)

The Beatminerz or The Beatnuts?

I have more respect for the Beatminerz ‘cause of their crazy catalogue of history yet I’ve got more sentimental attachment to the Beatnuts as they were one of the first groups that got me into rap heavily and I copped their shit when it dropped rather then checkin them retrospectively like a lot of the earlier shit from the 90’s. If I was offered a beat by the two I would pick the Beatminerz though

Stress: The Extinction Agenda or Clear Blue Skies

You’re an arsehole! Shiiiiieeeeeet! Breeze and Pharaohe are both in my top 5. This is bullshit! As albums I would have to go with Stress.. overall but I think there are moments in Clear Blue Skies that I think are better. That “Damn-it-to-hell-again-I-feel-my-brain-swell-like-meningitis…” flow Breeze does is one of my favourite verses of all time and the album as a whole is stoopid! But Stress to me is more consistent with more classic tracks as a whole but… it would depend what mood I’m in I guess.

De Niro or Pacino?

Pacino’s done less cheese. He fucked it with the coffee ads but. Taxi Driver is one of my all time favourites and I like it better then Scarface that must make me an emo punk or something I’m just going to say De Niro on that alone fuck it.

Go make sure you vote for Dialectrix in the Triple J Hottest 100. He has his awesome Like a Version of “Buy Me A Pony” and the track “Priceless” with Pegz and Joe New. CLICK CLICK.

Next up is Adelaide’s Purpose.

Oz Hip Hop's Sexiest Man of 2011

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 19:03:00 +1100

For hip hop heads in Australia there are some big awards that they can now aspire to win. Whether it is picking up Best Urban Album at the ARIAs, getting into the Triple J Hottest 100 or scoring Best Verse on a Posse Cut that was Produced by a Tasmanian on Fruity Loops at the OzHipHop.com Awards. But now there is THE Award for local hip hop. Australian Hip Hop’s Sexiest Man. Ladies it is time to disregard the intellectual and personal traits of these men in order to focus on them as instruments of pure sexual gratification.

Fill out the survey at the bottom of the page to have your say in these historic awards. Re-tweet THIS or share the survey on Facebook to go in the draw to win an awesome mystery prize! The survey closes on Wednesday 18th of January and we will have an expert panel of judges dissecting the results and announcing the winners.

Objectify ahoy!

'I Got 5 On It' with Vents

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 20:43:00 +1100

So we’ve started this new quiz called ‘I Got 5 On It’ which is basically 5 random questions where we give heads two options to choose from. They can answer any damn well way they please. First up is Golden Era heavy hitter and Stevan Segal of Australian hip hop - Vents.

Hit Squad or Def Squad?

Did Hit Squad even put out an album? I only heard the first Def Squad album and from that I only really played one song a lot (checkin me out?) so they win off that. Plus, Eric.

John Rambo or Rocky Balboa?

Rocky. Did you know Sylvester Stallone wrote and directed all of these? (thanks, Dr Bind)

Coffee or Cigarettes?

Well, I started smoking when I was… what? 10? 11? And I only got addicted to this other wonderful legal and incredibly addictive psychoactive drug CAFFEINE in the last couple of years. So, durrys.

Vin Rock or Phife?

Wow. Phife. Did you know Vin Rock is Mike Tyson’s cousin? And Treach is married to Pepa from the group Salt N Pepa? Or maybe they divorced by now. Is this the kind of ranting you were after, Dave? As long as the conversation stays on Reagan era cinema and 90’s rap, I can keep going like this forever.

Only Built for Cuban Linx or The Infamous?

Fuckkkkkkkkk. Shit; both really original, heavy, classic albums. I love both of these equally and it would be unfair to place them in a competition. But, since we’re doing that… shit… fuck… Infamous. Actually, Cuban Linx. No… Infamous.

Don’t forget to vote for Vents Uno in Triple J’s Hottest 100 by simply clicking HERE.

Australian Hip Hop Alcoholic Drinks

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 09:41:00 +1100

Australian hip hop has come a long way in the last few years, but in our esteemed opinion it still has a while to go if it wants to catch up with hip hop from the States. Sure we have some successful rappers nowadays, but rappers in the States don’t even rhyme anymore! Sure they may put out an album or a mixtape every now and again, but it is all about producing your own line of beverages these days.

Whether it is Diddy and Ciroc Vodka, 50 Cent and his Street King Energy Shots or Ludacris’ Conjure Cognac - spittin lyrics just gets in the way of poppin bottles and making paper.

Therefore here are a handful of drinks from Aussie rappers which we would like to see on sale at the bottle-o, or perhaps over the counter at Obese, sometime soon.

Kerser wouldn’t be the relentless lyrical beast he is without the Western Suburbs and beer, so his beverage should pay homage to both. Nothing like crackin open a longie of Eshays Lager while hanging with the lads at the park in Punchie, yelling at sluts, rollin cunts with boxcutters with your collar on ya Nautica polo up around your ears.

Some rappers are just far more educated, emotionally mature and sophisticated than others. Illy is a case in point. He has a law degree, raps about feelings with heartfelt, grown up singers and had a brand of coffee named in his honour. He is truly a man of the world, deserving of a beverage as classy as himself. Illy Livered Ale is that beverage. Imbibe!

Those among us hip hop aficionados who wish to enjoy an alcoholic beverage without feeling guilty about exploiting impoverished, third world farmers are now catered for with The Tongue’s fantastic new drink Xannon’s Green Pilsner. Unfortunately the socially conscious brewing process means that it is a slow and time consuming to produce, the alcoholic content of the beer is negligible and it costs $27 a bottle.

When you need to stalk the streets at night and think murderous thoughts, Tornts’ new brand of Swillin Piss Draught is right up your horrific, gut-rot, rubbish strewn, rat-infested, Hades-like darkened alley. Tastes much like Carlton Draught, though made with more spewing human hatred and ice cold stares.

Sometimes you just want to get so fucking muntered that you jump online and reveal the Illuminati conspiracy about influenza being developed in a CIA laboratory by defecting Ukranian scientists in order to impose government mind control over the population to force them to purchase Nickelback CD’s, thus continuing the demise of civil society as we know it which will lead to the New World Order taking command of the institutions of government. Balboa’s very own Shards & Cola will get you there.

Down For The Count Records - “Eddie Holman” So when...

Fri, 25 Nov 2011 08:03:00 +1100

Down For The Count Records - “Eddie Holman”

So when I heard that Forkie had formed a record label, I was all like ‘For the love of Zeus, why? There aint no money in rap. Go invest your money in something which will provide reasonable returns in the short-term such as uranium shares or gambling on dogfights’.

Luckily though I’m not a certified Financial Advisor, can never find the dogfights out in Sunshine and Force never listens to a word I say anyway. So old mate dropped Down For The Count Records on an unsuspecting public, assembling some of the finest heads who have all been shovelling shit in the coal mines of the underground for a while.

The result is an LP that is fucking tight from front to back both lyrically and, even though there is a slew of producers, sonically too. By now you should all know that Sparts and Force together are like goddam relentless rhyme steamrollers crushing anything in their path, especially if you caught their Powerlines EP. Well you also get Sin Synik (who you may remember as Sinks) and his implausibly elastic flow, Dazed’s emphatic MPC bangers and thoughtful mic steeze and this Mol One kid (who I only remember from some Blazin Marty collabo) who is going to be a beast if somebody keeps feeding him.

Seriously it’s one of my favourite releases of the year. And I hate a lot of shit. Actually probably most shit. Especially yours.

I was gonna post ‘King Killaz Part 2’, cause the strings that Dazed laced that number with are what you would normally hear upon waking up and finding Freddie Kreuger standing over your bed and cause Sparts says Trotskyite. But Dazed already threw that beat at Grand Arkiteks for his 7. Also nearly threw out ‘The Ones’ cause Force’s words over Shroomz’s stuttering headnodder feels like my own personal anthem.

But what you’re getting above is the opener ‘Eddie Holman’. Describing it pointless when you can just click the cover and listen, but what you’re getting is the whole crew straight ripping a B Wiv heater with horns that Pete Rock couldn’t have placed more perfectly. It’s the shit.

Oh and Bunks didn’t do the tag.

Goat Mob (Geko and Aetcix) - “Code Green” If the...

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 09:02:00 +1100

Goat Mob (Geko and Aetcix) - “Code Green”

If the Goat Mob promo video is anything to go by then this new Crate Cartel project will basically be Aetcix talking so much shit that Chunk from the Goonies wouldn’t be able to get a motherfucking word in and Geks sitting silently at the back tweeting people that he is unimpressed with their utilisation of Americanised spelling. Kind of like a stoned version of Penn and Teller, only with less weird goatee’s.

Thankfully though you can’t trust everything you watch.

Goat Mob is the sound of ditching that Espy gig, punching the last billy, standing up and tripping over a coffee table full of empties and smashing your face into a milk crate full of grimy boom bap records from the 90’s. In other words, my kind of shit. No really - that is a typical weekend for me.

This particular track by the 2 producers/MC’s “Code Green” is about the current financial situation in Greece and the effects which the current round of austerity measures is having upon the psyche of the younger generations of disenfranchised youth.

Or it might just be about weed. Click the cover to listen and cop the LP from Crate Cartel

And if you want to know where these 2 are coming from check out their respective Doomed to Repeat columns, where they break down 10 of their most influential LP’s here.

Madlib & Freddie Gibbs are MADGIB

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 08:28:00 +1100

Freddie Gibbs & Madlib (MADGIB) - “Thuggin”

Mr Otis Jackson is always at his best when getting his collab on. Teaming up tends to filter out the crazy Lib type shit that can sometimes do my fucking head in, so I love it when he gets in the studio with heads like MF DOOM, Dilla, Guilty Simpson, Talib Kweli or Strong Arm Steady (not Percee P though, that album was worse than Donkey AIDS in your ears). Can’t say I saw this hook up with Indiana’s Freddie Gibbs and his straight G shit coming round the corner though.

Supposedly the Cali beat wizard and Indiana G are working on a full-length album which they are looking at dropping early next year. And if this little EP is anything to go by, I aint mad at em.

Freddie’s flow rides shotgun effortlessly spitting definitions of his street life that could sit comfortably next to a Death Row-era Tupac verse while Madlib’s beat cruises past slowly, slouched in the drivers seat giving you the finger.

It’s kind of like bacon and maple syrup. Sound like a fucking ridiculous combination, but the shit is tasty as fuck.

Ciecmate and Brad Strut - “I Need Change” Newsense...

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 18:11:00 +1100

Ciecmate and Brad Strut - “I Need Change”

Newsense knows how to run a record label. He puts out slick media kits, calls out slack media outlets (even mouths off at them when necessary) and probably shakes down retailers who don’t pay their invoices on-time. He’s basically the Australian Suge Knight, only with more manners and less jail time.

Well Mr Sense shook us out of our self-imposed hip hop exile this week to let us know that Ciecmate is about to drop a production LP entitled ‘Chess Sounds’. Everybody’s favourite social-media Luddite has obviously pitched a fucking tent in his new studio considering this is his second full length drop this year.

I want to say that the MC’s look like a ‘Dream Team’, but that inevitably poses the question ‘Well, which one is Christian Laettner?’ and more importantly sounds really gay. And since I aint heard the whole thing yet, it is probably best just to leave the basketball metaphors on the bench.

What we do have here is the track “I Need Change” with the always on point Brad Strut ripping his patented lyrical jabs straight at your dome. Ciecmate comes correct with some booming drums that Buckwild would be pissed he never found and some frantic quitar riff that makes me think that Macgyver only has 10 seconds to diffuse a bomb with a stapler and chewing gum. It’s tight shit. Can’t say I’m completely sold on that chorus though… I reckon Ciecmate should have got Briggs to warble it.

Click the cover and tell us what you think.

Peak Street x Sprung Festival: M-Phazes Interview

Fri, 16 Sep 2011 14:00:00 +1000

QLD’s third best exports (banana’s worth more than gold and cane toad golf top him easily), Mr M-Phazes hits us with some knowledge about the scene in the sunshine state. We unfortunately ran out of time to ask him whether or not he has ever punched somebody in the face with his Obese ring.

Mark is just one of the artists who will be hitting the Sprung Hip Hop Festival in Brisbane next month. Shit has a lineup worthy of robbing grandma. Well maybe not your grandma, but definitely someone’s grandma.

We got more interview goodness with artists on the lineup on the boil kids.

Peak Street 93 Mixtape - What Next?

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 11:14:00 +1000

So we were cooking up something rather big with this Peak Street 93 Mixtape. A larger sponsor was looking at backing the project and we were discussing kicking off a big competition and a launch in conjunction with it. Though it was looking promising, the discussions are being dragged out and it would have had to wait a few more months before everything was locked in. We know that you kids are dying to hear what we have in the can already, so what we are thinking is that we push the 93 edition out, keep things gully and try to blow the next edition of the mixtape up proper. But we want some input before we roll forward;

Submissions? Should we open up for entries again? I know a lot of heads wanted to throw down but missed the cut-off. Should we open up for submissions again for a fortnight or just go with what we have?

Tapes? We’re down offering the mix as a download, but also doing a limited run (250) of actual cassette tapes if there is enough interest from you real heads and artists are down with us taking some cash to cover our costs. Otherwise this one will be a straight up digital download kids.

Name? Cmon you creative bastards! I need a 93-centric name. “Something Something: The Peak Street 93 Mixtape”. What you got?

Hit us with your comments below and lets get this thing cracking again!

Peesh

David Edgley & Peak Street Click

White Hipster Rap Is Outta Control (Part #1)

Sun, 21 Aug 2011 13:25:00 +1000

Hipsters and their blogs make the most terrible shit popular and it is no different in the world of hip hop. Recently there has been an epic influx of ‘rappers’ who back in the day would be fuckin smacked upside the head 10 seconds into their set and gutterstomped outside for even trying. However the interwebz loves a dickhead and somehow these fucks are popular and now teaming up with each other to build some sort of douchebag rap coalition. Let Peak Street guide you through the scary world of Hipster Rap.

Andy Milonakis

Alright, I’ll admit it. The first time I heard Andy Milonakis terribly freestyle rapping into a webcam, I had a chuckle. I thought, ‘Great! Tubby white middle-aged militant vegan lesbians named Deborah rap too. I’m all for equality! Good for them.’ It was momentarily amusing. Kind of like how you initially laugh at watching a grandmother falling over. Until you realise the gravity of the situation cause she has actually fallen over a cliff, onto a freeway and in front of snowplough being driven by DMX who is high on PCP which was cooked up by mental asylum inmates.

Well when I discovered that this rapping lesbo was a dude named Andy and that his off the dome jibber jabber along with some questionable MTV comedy show was sustaining some sort of career I felt like throwing myself under DMX’s fucking snowplough. Youtube hipsters turned Andy into a sensation and he was soon dressing as Diplo’s zombie bitch, on Lil B’s dick and bombarding us all with rhymes that make you angry you aren’t deaf. He rhymes like that older dickhead uncle of yours who upon finding out you like ‘rap’ at the family Christmas party, tells you it is a load of shit that requires no talent and then proceeds to prove his point by busting out a verse that is so bad you bottle him in front of your grandma (who actually recovered quite well from that fall).

Riff Raff

My theory on Texas rapper Riff Raff is that he is an elaborate social experiment being conducted by world reknowned academics in order to ascertain just how fucking retarded hipsters are. I imagine that all these professors and scientists were concerned that their pedo mo growing, lenseless glass sporting, ironic day-glo t-shirt wearing kids were listening to utter garbage music, so they decided to create the ultimate hipster rapper with which to gain raw data about the elusive and heinous music tastes of these fucktards. Basically a white Lil B, who gets trill and was dropped on his head at birth and then every day of his childhood after.

I mean look at him! How the fuck can he be a real living breathing human being? Those intricate Bali braids and wildstyle facial hair? The cartoon grills and jewellery? The wardrobe of a 4 year old with down syndrome. Fuck the dude even gets tattoos of media outlets that support him, hence the cringe-worthy MTV, BET and WorldStarHipHop ink all over him. Soulja Boy just signed him. Do I need to say anymore?

He just cannot be a real person who in the midst of a mid-life crisis was introduced to sizzurp by his only black friend Steven and then in the resulting buzzed state decided to give up his accounting career, his family and all dignity and become a rapper. He just can’t be.

Next up in Part 2 - White Girl Mob and Rich Hil

360 Interview with Peak Street

Fri, 19 Aug 2011 07:56:26 +1000

Who said we’re haters?! We love everybody! Peak Street sits down with 60 to talk shop.

Be prepared for more video content soon you heathens!

Cheers to Peak Street Familia Sam James, Danny Haneman and Aisha Glen for throwing cameras and questions in 60’s face and to long-time Peak Street cousin Shan Hoyne for the graphic goodness.

Big Boi Australian Tour tickets to be won

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 21:04:00 +1000

So one half of Outkast and southernplayalisticadillacmuzik practitioner Big Boi is heading to Oz this month to bless the people with his ATL flavoured funk. And regardless of what you done heard he IS coming (as long as he doesn’t pick up somebody else’s satchel full of Viagra and MDMA before he hits Customs).

For some reason I reckon this gig is going to be filled with fine ass women that look like they just stepped out of a Big Boi filmclip ready to shake it. I mean when “I Like The Way You Move” gets a run, it’s gonna be game over. That stuff is baby making music.

Well the good folks at Niche have hooked Peak Street up with a double pass to giveaway for each state. To win head over to the Facebook page and drop your favourite Big Boi bars on us in the proper comments section of that post. Don’t forget to tell us what state you are in. Whatever we think is the bestest wins homie. Entries close Wednesday 24th. Get on it.

PEAK STREET FACEBOOK

“Oi, What You Looking At” - by Brinks, Sarm, Nebs,...

Tue, 02 Aug 2011 17:48:00 +1000

“Oi, What You Looking At” - by Brinks, Sarm, Nebs, Swarmy, Juzlo, Kerser, Diem & Fraksha

Wow! This grime posse cut got straight up fucking murdered. Heads from Melbs to Sydney go about stomping all over this track that makes you want to smash bottles over your head. Everyone brings their A-game, but got to give special mention to Nebs of That’s Them owning the best bars with that Nike/nighty nighty shit, Kerser further proving that this LP he’s cooking is going to be the shit and Fraksha’s effortless flow making it sound like he could do this shit in his sleep. Click the cover…

“Meteor Hammer” (feat. Ghostface, Action Bronson and...

Thu, 21 Jul 2011 02:17:00 +1000

“Meteor Hammer” (feat. Ghostface, Action Bronson and Termanology)

Tony, Bronsolini and Term together? Yeah I aint mad at this. So far this Wu-Tang kinda album ‘Legendary Weapons’ is none too bad. Could definitely do with some dusty RZA beats though.

The Starving Artists - Fat Rappers When They Were Skinny

Thu, 21 Jul 2011 00:00:00 +1000

It seems to be a consistent theme for many successful rappers. They sell a few records, buy a few gold chains, throw a Range or a Lex in the garage and then inevitably end up enjoying 7,484 too many deep fried cheeseburgers and fudge covered tacos and get so chunky that their groupies need a snorkel.

But most of these fat boys (no Big Buff Love….. oh no wait this probably applies to his lardarse too) weren’t always murdering jeans and inhaling baked beans. Nah son, some of them were straight up skinny motherfuckers back in the day.

Check the 3 rappers below before they were fat and try to guess who is who in the comments (extra points for song references too).

1. This guy was kind enough to let you rhyme to ‘The Benjamins’ beat. But that is cause it gave him time to do another Maccas run to fill a bucket with thickshake.

2. He’ll sell you some bars for 10 cents. Or probably just a donut stuffed with donuts these days.

3. He was saving hoes before Soulja Boy was born from one. But then he gave up his Captain’s badge and started eating peanut butter dipped in cheese from a can as a hobby.

Wu-Tang Double Pass Winner!!

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 01:03:00 +1000

Well I gotta say we had some good, some bad and some ugly entries roll through for our Wu comp, but I think we can all safely agree that Bridget Hough here thoroughly deserved to scoop that double pass up. Wu panthers and underwear is a win in everyones books.

Respect to all the entrants and thanks to OPP Touring and Xposed Media for the hook up.

36 Reasons to Love Wu-Tang: #5 Bad Endorsements

Mon, 11 Jul 2011 23:41:00 +1000

The Wu-Tang have had many endorsements and sponsors in their time and plenty of them have been downright fucking strange and full of the LULZ. These are our Top 5.

PETA - Go Veg (2006)

So when the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wanted a celebrity to school the kids on why we shouldn’t eat our furry and feathered friends they went to the one obvious choice - Masta Killa. Now I don’t know about you, but looking at that bowl of vegetables and lentils and other assorted slop that MK has in his bowl makes me want to murder a pig and shove it in the oven immediately so I can get some of that pork on my fork. The PETA video below basically gives us Masta’s philosophical stance on why we should be vegetarians. We learn he’s a funny eater, he perhaps grew up on a farm in Staten Island and thinks you should think twice about slapping a chicken because they provide a shining light in the universe….. or something.

Rap Snacks - Dirt McGirt Sour Cream & Onion Chips

Are you shitting me? Who in the hell would eat these? I bet you $100 that they taste like feet and you probably find cigarette butts scattered throughout each pack. That said though the Gobbledock was a questionable little crackhead too and I still enjoyed Smiths chips.

FILA Weathertech Boots

This could quite honestly be the worst Wu endorsed product ever. FILA? Really?! What the fuck were you thinking RZA? FILA haven’t been cool since Grant Hill was a rookie. Oh no wait, they even sucked balls back then. These hideous fucking things look like those cheap rip-off work boots that you can get from 2 dollar shops that sell Mars Bars from Kuwait that are 7 years past their use-by-date. They are basically syphilis for your feet. And I don’t know which Wu weed carrier MC did the song for the ad, but hopefully the free pair of Wu Weathertech Boots he got for doing the song caused him painful blisters which got infected and then caused him to trip over in front of a bus.

St Ides Liquor (1995)

Actually this isn’t bad, this is sheer genius! Back in 1995 someone over at St Ides had obviously been drinking too much of their own 8.2% alcoholic content malt liqour and decided to get the gulliest and grimiest new rap crew ever to endorse their 40 ounces which are obviously brewed and bottled by Satan. The result was a fucking awesome track that scared the shit out of the St Ides folks who after dropping it on a promo tape, quickly hid the shit from the public fearing that it might be so effective that it would produce an entire generation of alcoholics. And yeah, all you proper Wu fans already know that this is the track playing in the background while Rae & Ghost talk shit at the start of ‘Spot Rusherz’ on OB4CL.

Nintendo Super Game Boy (1993)

Somebody at Nintendo was obviously drinking too much St Ides too, cause this endorsement is plain fucking crazy. Remember the Super Game Boy? Of course you don’t. It was some stupid contraption that enabled you to play Game Boy games on the Super Nintendo and change the colours and shit. Whoopee fucking doo… Why not just stick to playing F-Zero for fucks sake? Anyway some drunk marketing dude called up RZA and what could be a pre-coked up Ol Dirty and threw some cash at them to yell and scream about this crappy piece of technology and games like ‘Dunkey Kong’ (top work there Big Baby Jesus). This too was shelved and never aired.